Breaking The Silence

I realize it's been months since I have posted. There is no rhyme or reason to it so I won't even go into why, but I felt the need to tell this story.  

It  was last Thursday and a regular doctors appointment and everything was going fine until she felt a lump. I'm 28 years old and these things don't happen to people my age right? It was horrible and scary. She had me feel it and asked if it was new. What's weird is my very first thought went to an old 90210 episode with Donna, Kelly, and Brenda checking themselves to make sure everything was okay. I told her honestly I never give myself breast exams so I have no idea. Again I'm 28 I thought these things happen to women in there 40's.  

It wouldn't be until Monday until I could go and have a mammogram, something I didn't think I would start having until my late 30's, those 4 days were the longest of my life. You hope for the best but you keep thinking the worst. I only told my roommate, my friend Jenny and my mother because to admit to anyone else would be to real. During those four days all I could think of while I was sitting and smiling with my friends was what if next week I have to sit here and tell them I have cancer? Between my smiles I wanted to cry.  My imagination is a scary thing. 

Monday came and my appointment was at 3 and I was texting my roommate and Jenny who kept me laughing until the time came for my name to be called by the technician. I was so nervous to say the least. It was over in about 5 minutes and then I had to sit and wait for the results. They called me back and wanted to do an ultrasound; apparently not only could I feel the lump the tech could feel it but it wasn't showing up on the mammogram.  

Three techs later and they could all feel the mass, but it wasn't showing up on the ultrasound either and finally the doctor walks in, and by this time I'm losing it.  She feels the mass as well and she does the ultrasound herself and sees nothing there. She talks to me calmly and says well to be honest I don't know what it is all I can say is watch it for the next three months and see. If it were a cancerous mass it would have shown up on the mammogram or in your ultrasounds (by that time I had about 5).  So it was kind of good news yet still the unknown. 

I'm going to get a second opinion because truth be told I'm not fully convinced. I'm not a hypochondriac and when I get sick it takes me forever to get to the doctor but I'm not joking around with this.  All I can say is if two doctors, three technicians, and I can feel it, something is there and it doesn't really help when one of your doctors tells you they don't know what it is. 

I guess the reason I'm breaking my silence is... I'm 28 and they found something. So I urge you to go get checked. 

 

 

Comments

[Kristabella]

Sending you good boobies thoughts!

This happened to me too. I had to wait a month for the ultrasound and it was really hard not to dwell on it every day. Thankfully, it was just something with the tissue that was wonky. And I have to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't get bigger. That was almost two years ago and it is the same size.

Hang in there! Do whatever you need to to make sure you're OK!

[carolie]

Sending you laughter and holding you in my prayers. It's a scary, scary thing, but keep your confidence! I've had something similar twice...a palpable ("feelable) lump, but nothing on the mammogram or ultrasound. Both went away on their own, no idea what they came from. Hopefully yours will do the same!

[Narami]

I had a biopsy done at 23 (I am now almost 29, it turned out to be a calcification), I have basically driven all my friends crazy since then to check themselves ALL THE TIME.

One of my friends had a scare in December too and she's 29, I don't know but I think it's now very important for women to start regular checks in their twenties... I think the thirties are too late now.

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[Catherine]

Love you, honey. I'll be praying for you.

[AJ]

Hey, you should have called. There is TONS of things I could/can do to help you here. No jokes or anything. I spend most of my days talking to women in situations like this. Lumps unseen on ultrasounds and mammograms are surprisingly common and usually are more likely to be cysts than anything

[Mike]

Oh man. I just read this entry. I hope everything turns out okay.

[Rhi]

Yikes! Sending good thoughts your way.