I am an only child and with that comes a certain stigma about my personality. When people think of only children the words spoiled brat come to mind and while I did go through that phase of life I hope when people think of me the words only child syndrome don't enter their thoughts. I have an acquaintance that is an only child and she fits the stereotype to a T, such as crying when she doesn't get her way or throwing a fit if something isn't all about her, and wanting attention ALL THE TIME. It's exhausting to be around and thus why I rarely surround myself with such people. I think realizing this is why I try hard not to be this way.
On the other hand I am very independent and I do tend to make decisions for others all the time. Although mostly its because nobody wants to make a decision and I can't stand that so I go ahead and do it. I will be the one who drives all the time because I trust myself. I will be the one is the spokesperson for the group because nobody else wants the responsibility. I don't mind at all, it's who I am.
Whenever I go out with friends I will always end up driving and its usually because I volunteer. I don't mind but deep down it's because I know that at the end of the evening I will be able to drive home and while some of my friends won't be able to stand up straight. I trust myself. Some of my friends have said that I am like the mother of the group and I admit even I can be annoying at times, but I also think that when it comes down to it I like to think I'm responsible.
When I was in Colorado we were driving back down from the mountains and in our car the girls had an interesting conversation. My new friend Jaime was recounting her story about how some of her friends had told her she could never give up control and pass it over to someone; i.e. her husband. She said when she heard this her first thought was that's not the case I would gladly hand him over responsibilities because I trust him and it's you I don't trust. And with that one sentence it's like a light bulb went off above my head and I realized that is exactly how I feel but I never knew it. I need to be able to trust someone to do what they say they are going to do and not just half ass it. I need to be able to know that you are going to get the job done, and maybe it's not how I would have done it, but at least I will know it's in good hands.
I always think it's amazing how one person can say something in passing and yet it will stick with you your whole life.
One of the more comforting things about being married is know that whatever it is you need done, he HAS TO because he's your husband. It's great to be someone else's absolute number one before anyone else.
Posted by: slynnro | March 26, 2008 at 09:17 AM
I know exactly what you mean! Of course, I can't think of one example since my memory can barely hold what I ate for lunch yesterday but none the less, I get what you're saying.
Posted by: Emily Ann | March 26, 2008 at 09:53 AM
i hear you. and i wanted to say that your blog title is awesome.
Posted by: Chris | March 28, 2008 at 12:18 PM