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That's hilarious.

I can't think of anything, which is shocking, knowing my grandmother. She did once break her TV when my sister and I were like 5 and 2 respectively and told my mom that we did it and demanded she pay for it. I still remember that. I uh, don't speak to her anymore. You can see why.


I tell students, when they ask me how I got so tall, that I listened to my teacher and got good grades. I am pretty sure they don't buy it!


I used to tell kids that I'm a vampire and show them the bite marks, which are two moles close together on my neck. Some of the little ones weren't sure whether to believe it or not.

And I would tell the high schoolers that if they didn't stop taking pictures on the bus at night, the flashes bouncing off the windows were going to blind our driver, making him crash the bus, and we'd all meet our end in a fiery grave. Which actually could have happened. I said it in a total monotone. The flash photography tended to come to a stop.


My dad used to tell me that my snot was actually my brain juice - and if I had too many boogers or blew my nose too much, I would blow my brain out and become really stupid.

Isn't that cruel?

I used to live with my Gramma and my little cousin Annie was there all the time. She came in my bathroom while I was putting my tampons away and she asked what they were. I told her they were "popsicles" because I mean how do you explain what a tampon is to a 5 year old? Of course she wanted one, but I told her they were only for big girls and she could have them when she got big. She was fine with this answer. But, I have a feeling in about 7 years or so, she is so going to hit me upside the head.

Emily Ann

well this isn't exactly my grandparents but my dad used to sing to my brother and i in the car...he would sing just about anything but it was all in "Cherokee". He isn't a Native American but we would have him translate all kinds of songs into "Cherokee" and he'd happily oblige and sing us songs. It wasn't until I was about 11 or 12 when I realized he didn't know "Cherokee". Either I'm extremely gullible or he's quite convincing. Also, he used to drive down the road with both eyes closed. This amazed me to no end at least thru the end of junior high. Suddenly, one day I realized he's probably driving with one eye open--the eye being the one that I can't see from the passenger seat.

After reading this, I'm not just gullible but maybe a tad bit stupid. Hmmmm.

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