Everything I say is fascinating.

I'm not an addict

My city is like any other city there is the right side of the tracks and the wrong side of the tracks. Today I ventured to the wrong side of the tracks and needless to say it was an adventure, but isn't it always when I'm involved? I'm jumping ahead of myself as always so let me start at the beginning. It needs to be said that  my coworker Brittney and I are slightly obsessed with snow cones. I mean we LOVE snow cones but really who doesn't love a good snow cone. We were having lunch at one of our favorite sushi places and I'm not exactly sure how we even got on subject of snow cones but all I know is that we decided we needed one ASAP!

Now I don't know how it is in your town but in ours the only place you can get them is really on the bad side of town like where they sell crack. I don't really ever venture to that side of city so we just started driving and started hoping for the best. It then dawned on me how funny this scenario was that two girls driving around in an SUV and basically we were just looking to get a fix... a fix of snow cone goodness! I really did feel like we were trying to buy crack, looking on every corner just trying to get a glimpse of someone who was selling them. It's really quite sad.

Then we saw the snow cone stand! It was glorious and over 25 flavors to choose from, where would I even start? Then one caught my eye the flavor was called Tiger's Blood. I was all what the hell is that?!?  Then the lady in front of me ordered one and it was bright red and I figured how bad could it be, and I ordered one for myself. (I mean they are $1.25.) It tasted like cherry so it was not a bad decision on my part to all those people who doubted me.

Now the best part of this story is the fact when we got back to Brittney's house we started thinking that maybe it would be easier to buy a snow cone machine rather then having to drive to the ghetto and risk getting shot or mugged to go get one. We started researching it on the computer and we totally found a home machine that makes shaved ice (because we don't want that crunchy business). We were so dead set on buying this until we saw the price $391.00! Now to be fair that does include shipping and ten different flavors , including Tiger's Blood. (Did you guys know that, that was popular flavor?) Like I said after we saw the price we had to really think about this investment then I had a genius idea... wait for it... Brittney could put it on her registry for her upcoming nuptials in December. I think I have her almost convinced because really it's the gift that keeps on giving.   

Scary

While I was looking for tickets to Thailand using Kayak.com (which seriously is the best site ever) I came upon an airline I had never heard of called China Airlines. The ticket was somewhat cheaper then the rest so I decided to check out the airline for myself. I went to Yahoo.com to research it and the first thing I see on the MAIN PAGE are these words.

"All 165 aboard rushed to safety as a China Airlines jet burst into flames on the tarmac." I immediately call Emily and tell her and ask her if this could be a sign. I click on the link and it's a video and I'm repeating everything that is going on because she can't see videos on her computer from her work. The entire thing is all caught on tape and then they show the airplane blowing up! At the end of the piece the commentator says China airlines has a patchy safety record and then starts reading off the airlines stats. I don't think I will be flying that airline anytime soon.

Also this weekend while I was flipping through the channels I landed on the Oxygen station (don't laugh at me) and guess what was showing. Brokedown Palace. Do you remember this movie about how the girls go to Thailand and end up being framed as drug runners and end up in a Thai prison. Do you think the universe is trying to tell me something?

True Friendship

The desk story continues!  Aaron came over on Thursday evening to attach my desk to the wall. I thought I knew exactly where I wanted to put it but after I had him move it there it just looked off to me. Then we tried talking it out but I'm a visual person and I need to see it. You see where this is going don't you? I had him move my armoire, then I had him move it back. I made him move my other desk and then my bookcase put the new desk where the old desk was and I didn't like it their either. Then we moved the new desk to the living room where he tried to convince me that it looked fine. I didn't like it. Then I had the bright idea to move my bookcase from my bedroom to the living room and when I said this out loud I really thought he was going to kill me, but he didn't and he moved everything! EVERYTHING!

Finally I decided where I wanted to place my desk and we had it all figured it out. Perfect, right? Well we have it all lined up and Aaron is ready to attach it to the wall and he says okay hand me the screws. I looked at the desk and then I looked at the screws in my hand and I said uh oh. Aaron looked at me and said what do you mean uh oh. The screws were to small for the holes in the desk, and he just looked at me like I can't believe you.

Where is my desk right now? It's back in the dining room.

Live Free or Die Hard Part 2 **Updated**

Remember my last live free of die hard moment? I had another one last night. Around midnight Tux started to meow like he was going crazy. I immediately knew what was going on because he only meows like that when he is hunting something or when he is looking out the window at a bird. Something was in my apartment and I was afraid. I didn't want to get out of bed but Tux started knocking things over and I had no choice.

I got up walked to the living room flipped on the switch and there was Tux on my coffee table looking at the ceiling. I didn't want to look but I knew I had to and there it was. ANOTHER COCKROACH! It was coming out of my air conditioning vent and it was BIG. It looked like it was a dad and it was trying to find food for his hundreds of kids. Dad or no dad he had to go. 

I went for my trusty broom and I was about to make my move when he went back inside the vent. I didn't know what to do so I tried to close the vent but it wouldn't budge. I really started freaking out then convinced that it was headed for my bedroom vent! It never came back out so I went to bed but every time I heard tux make a sound I flew out of bed and grabbed the broom ready to kill the offensive  creature.  I finally fell asleep at about 1:30, but you can be sure that the first thing I did when I woke up was call my apartment complex and tell them I needed an exterminator ASAP! They told me one would be here by this afternoon. I'm in my apartment waiting and my broom is right beside me just in case.

Right after I finished this post the exterminator came to my apartment and I told him what happened and how when I think I see one that there are thousands in the walls. HE LAUGHED AT ME. I was not amused. I mean I own an Oreck XL Ultra Vacuum Cleaner! And let's be honest you don't have one of those unless you are committed to cleanliness.  He told me the only reason I saw the bug was because it was raining heavily outside... blah blah blah. I didn't care I just wanted him to do his thing and assure me that I won't see another one in my lifetime!

screwed

I think Lori said it best when she stated "present me loves nothing better then to screw over future me." Remember my IKEA excursion a couple of weeks ago? Well I never told you what I had purchased in those heavy boxes. It was a desk and a chair. Actually this desk.  I originally saw it in InStyle magazine and I fell in love with it! They had it decorated so cute and it was exactly what I needed.

Here is a picture from the magazine although I'm not quite sure why it is turned on it's side because it is saved right side up on my computer but you get the idea.

So when I bought this desk from IKEA I knew that it would have to be put together but I'm actually shocked they didn't include a saw to I could cut out my own pieces of wood. Now to be fair I had a friend bring up the boxes and start to put the desk together but when you and said "friend" decide to take a brake you should make sure that he has finished putting together your desk or else you will have pieces of wood and screws lying all over your dining room. I'm just saying.  A week went by and then I started thinking I don't need a man to put this together I can do it myself... you know girl power and all that jazz. 

I went to Lowe's to buy an electric screwdriver and I accidentally asked for a power drill. The guy showed me the drills I said oh no those are way out of my league, I just need to put a desk together. He looked me up and down said yeah and then walked over to the electric screwdrivers. I would take that as  an insult but he was so right. Armed with my new screwdriver I got out the instructions and was astounded that it is a BOOKLET of instructions, not just steps 1-10 it's like 1- 38! My friend got to step 12 and he was here for 3 hours. I was screwed. Seriously this is what I was working with here:

Even Tux didn't think I could do it. Thanks Tux.

It took me several days but I finally finished putting the desk together except it is still in my dining room. Apparently you have to screw the desk into the wall so that it won't fall over and kill you while you are working on your blog post. It is very top heavy. I can't do this step myself without it falling on top of me so until my friend Aaron comes over to help me, in the dining room it will stay. But at least I finished it! GO ME!   

Writer's Block

I have started so many post and then not finished them that I don't know what to do with myself. Nothing seems funny and I am a bore. Fear not for I have not forsaken you! (Is it just me or did that last sentence sound Biblical?)

I need topics to write about, nothing in my life is funny right now. Although for some reason I just noticed that my office has a sudden aroma of cat pee but that is neither here nor there. Topics! I need TOPICS! Any suggestions will suffice I promise to write about at least one of them or I could take the another route and do the whole you can ask me questions and I will answer them but then I fear I will get no questions and I will feel like a loser. You don't want to feel like a loser do you Internet? Wait don't answer that. 

Is it just me?

After seeing a movie like The Bourne Ultimatum do you feel the need to drive recklessly like you are in the middle of a car chase?

Uh... yeah me either.