Everything I say is fascinating.: It's my party and I can vomit if I want to

Let me first start off by saying I need a vacation in a bad way. I'm so tired I'm nauseated. Is that even possible? I might have found a new illness. Take that guy with TB!

I don't even know where to start on relaying the events of this weekend; shall we start with my birthday extravaganza? Me vomiting on the way to the day spa? The two weddings I attended this weekend? The bachelorette party on Saturday night? The story of how my friend touched a urinal cake thinking it was soap? Again I'm tired just thinking about it all... My weekend started off on Friday night at a new restraunt for dinner where 20 of my friends showed up making me feel like a rock star. My friend Desi wanted me to wear a terria but I put my foot down... and it totally would have messed up my hair and for once I was having a pretty good hair day. I had a lovely dinner of calamari and Caesar salad except I didn't really eat because I was too busy talking. I know, imagine that! After dinner and drinks we went to a neighborhood bar to check out the scene. One drink later and we were out because it was pretty lame. We decided that we needed to go dancing. Now it must be said I love to go dancing and lets just say I think abba wrote dancing queen just for me. I had stopped drinking at the last place because I know myself and I didn't want to feel horrible the following day. Too late. At about 2 we all said goodbye and I was driven home and I went to bed... well not after I had a couple of bites of ice cream but remember I didn't have dinner and it was my birthday. Don't judge me!
The following morning I dragged myself out of bed threw on some clothes and headed out the door to the spa. My car has GPS which I must say is an awesome feature especially when you are counting the miles so you can get to the bathroom to vomit because you are feeling so sick. I'm traveling down a major street and all I can look at is the map and chanting in my head just two more miles. I didn't make it the two miles. I had to pull over on the side of the street and I threw open the door and proceeded to throw up on the street all from the comfort of my drivers seat. Classy. Yet another Classic Melissa moment. (I should have prefaced this story with the fact that I wasn't drunk at all the night before, no really I wasn't. I finished with that stuff a long time ago.) Anyway so there I am throwing up from inside my car and people are honking and waving. I really hope nobody I didn't see anyone I knew especially their parents. I finally made it to the spa and Jenny said I looked like death but by the time I left 4 hours later I was revived and ready to go. I even met with clients after that! Gosh I'm good. In the evening I went to a friends wedding and then quickly rushed home to change for another friends personal shower/bachelorette party. I was an hour late but really when am I ever on time? After she opened her gifts we decided to head downtown for the party portion of the evening. It was a coed party so Jenny and I picked up my friend Dave, and all three of us were so tired from the evening before that we had to devise a plan on how to leave this party early. We came up with the brilliant idea of when its time to leave we will catch each other eye and just start waving our hands all wild like in the air. Imagine someone being chased by bees and you will get the visual picture. Cut to two hours later and Jenny and I are ready to go and we decide to put our plan into action except when we start waving our arms in the air Dave looks at us like we are crazy. The plan didn't work so well and we ended up looking like idiots. Finally it dawned on him what we were trying to say and he did the sign back and in 10 minutes we were in the car heading home. Although not before seeing 4 bike cops throw one guy into the bushes and yank another one out of his car. I mean who doesn’t like to see a good rumble where bike cops are involved. Now we are finally at Sunday and my friend Amanda is getting married. It was all beautiful till a storm decided to roll in and ruin the festivities. The wedding was outdoors and while we were all eating dinner the manager of the facilities walks out to say we are going to have to move indoors because of the rain that was headed our way. No sooner after he stopped talking that gale force winds came down from the heavens started blowing everything down. I mean we are talking champagne glasses being knocked over as well as the chairs, and tables. I have never seen a staff move so fast to get everything indoors... except they weren't moving quite fast enough. The wedding guest decided to help out and pretty soon we are all collapsing chairs and tables and running for shelter. Have you ever seen the movie forces of nature? How all of a sudden this hurricane ruins the wedding and everything is being swept away it was kind of like that only funnier because my skirt almost flew up over my head at least 3 times. I didn't get home on Sunday till about 12:30 at night and I passed out. I'm still tired and it's the middle of the week. I will have to tell you guys the urinal cake story later because I'm going to bed. To be continued...