Everything I say is fascinating.

Can someone say awkward?

I went to dinner at my parents house which usually is pretty uneventful until yesterday. I had stopped by my mailbox before heading over to their house and in the mail was my USWeekly magazine, which I decided to take into the house to read before dinner was ready. I started reading it and then dinner was ready so I left it on the coffee table not even giving it a second thought. After dinner I sat down in the family room with my parents to watch the Spurs game and my dad picked up my magazine and started to flip through it. Out of nowhere my dad asked out loud "Who is Jenna Jameson? I have never heard of her; is she an actress?"
I almost choked and said "Well umm... sort of. Why do you ask?" He proceeds to tell me "Well it says here she is fighting cancer and I just feel bad for her, but I don't recognize her." As calmly as I could I told her "Well dad that is because she is a porn star." He didn't even look up all he said was "Oh."  Then he put down the magazine and  stared intently at the basketball game.

Something tells me he will never pick up one of my trashy tabloid magazines again.

Team Thailand

This past weekend I was in Dallas for the Spurs vs Mavericks game which we ended up losing but we aren't going to talk about that today. I actually drove up to Dallas on Friday and I'm not lying when I say I got to my friends apartment right as the sirens went off that a tornado was about to touch down and it started raining, golf ball size  hail started coming down and the lighting was out of control. Twenty minutes later it had passed by and we went to dinner. Apparently rain or shine I need pasta.

After dinner I met up with some old friends that I hadn't seen in awhile. I was especially looking forward to this trip because a lot of my friends live in different cities and we were all going to be in the same place for the weekend which would undoubtedly lead to good times. Before we all met we would get on the phone and they would make fun of me because even though the real reason we were all gathering together was to go to the basketball game (we are such die hard fans)  the main reason I was so excited was because we were going to plan our China/Thailand trip!I probably bought it up no less then 10 times while on the phone the week prior, so on Saturday all four of us trekked to Borders where we got books upon books to research exactly what we needed to do.Their are four of us going my good friend Brian, my other good friend Scott and his girlfriend Katie who is pretty awesome I must say. This is only the second time I have met her after three years of them dating but I can already tell I like her. 

The guys obviously are more fly by the seat of their pants and the girls are more planners so the whole time we were at Borders it was more the guys cracking jokes and Katie and I looking at the books. I was the total nerd taking notes over what shots we need to get, what time of year we should go, where we were going to fly into, what we should do there and pretty much anything that I could make a list out of I did. We decided on a 10-12 day trip over Thanksgiving, because nothing says Thanksgiving like Pad Thai. Our tentative schedule is to fly into Hong Kong for 2 days, then to Chaing Mai, then take a train or fly to Bangkok and travel around the coast. I would love to go to Cambodia or Burma since we will be so close but I'm afraid of packing to much in for only 10-12 days. I don't want to spend my whole time traveling but actually seeing and taking part of the culture.

I literally am so excited I could burst out of my skin. Even though it is so far away I know it will be here before I know it. (Seriously can you believe it's about to be May. MAY!) What also makes this trip exciting is that the four of us really get along great and I can't imagine taking this trip with anyone else.

No Words

I have no words for what has happened in Virgina. I pray for the families of those who died, the ones who are injured and even the gunman's family. I can't imagine what it must be like over there right now; to be shaken up and realize that life as you know it will never be the same.

Young & the Restless

Yesterday I witnessed an altercation that I have only seen in the movies and on soap operas and it was awesome.

I got home yesterday evening about 7:30 pm and I parked my car and started gathering my things. I heard two people talking but like the idiot that I am I thought it was coming from inside my car from my ipod. I looked down and noticed that it was turned off so I shrugged my shoulders and got out of the car. It was then that I heard the voices again only it was very loud because they were shouting. Naturally I took my sweet time to see what all the fuss was about and this is what I heard.

Guy: I know you love me!
Girl: Stop stalking me you freak!
Guy: After all we have been through together this is how it's going to end.
Girl: It's over GET OVER IT! I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

It's at this point that I pass them on the stairwell going up to my apartment, and I look down because I can barely contain my laughter. She is a Jessica Simpson look-a-like she is even carrying a small dog.

Guy: I know you love me, how can you say you don't?
Girl: I'm leaving for a friends house get out of my way!
Guy: So that's it this is how it's going to end?
Girl: IT WAS OVER A LONG TIME AGO!
Guy: Well then I'm just going to get you fired from your job!
Girl: WHAT!

Now this is where it gets really good and I'm already at my apartment and I have fiddled with my keys long enough so I have to go inside because it's becoming obvious that I'm eavesdropping. It's at this moment where I curse having a cat because if I had a dog I could take him for a walk and hear the end of this argument. I had to settle for just opening the window instead.

Guy: That's right! Remember when you came to my work and slapped me in front of my boss. (I so wish I was lying but I could not make this stuff up.)
Girl: Well you deserved it!
Guy: I'm going to come to your work and start yelling at you!
Girl: Get out of my way!

Then she got in her car and drove off.

I will keep you guys posted if anything else happens.

BOOOOOOO

I might have to cry myself to sleep tonight. My imaginary boyfriend is getting married to his real life girlfriend.

I'm lifting you up. I'm letting you down. I'm dancing till dawn. I'm fooling around.

Sometimes I forget what I am worth. I'm worth the chase. I'm worth the effort. I'm worth getting nervous for.  This weekend has been yet just another reminder in an ongoing lesson. A lesson that my mind knows but also one that my mind seems to forget... more often then I would like to admit.

It seems lately I need to remind myself that I shouldn't be trying to fit this perfect mold for someone, somehow twisting myself to seem like this perfect woman. I need to change my attitude from does he like me, to I do I like him? I am fully admitting that I do take on the does he like me attitude way more frequently then I would like. I get caught up in the how do I look, do I seem witty, oh gosh I must put my best foot forward in all hopes of winning this man's affections.   While the above is all right to a certain extent I need to realize that he should be trying to win me over as well.  I forget that this is sort of like a dance and truth be told I really don't want to lead. And if I don't want to I really shouldn't be forced to either.

I have seen many friends change who they are in the hopes of having a certain guy like her and I'm not going to judge because I have done it as well. All of sudden I become this sports enthusiasts, and why of course I  would love to watch sports center, when really all I want to do is change the channel to TBS because they are showing Steel Magnolias for the hundredth time and I know I own the DVD but you can't just not watch it! I'm just saying.

The tile of this post comes from the song Must Get Out by Maroon 5 and I really love this song so much. I listen to it when I'm down about something (mainly guys) because I could kill myself in trying to get someone to say those words you long to hear. Worrying about everything that comes out of my mouth if its okay and really that is no way to live.

This past weekend when I was celebrating a friends birthday a secret crush of mine came and it wasn't till he left the party that I had the most fun. That is when I really became me.I joined my friends in dancing without a care in the world, participating in a mock food fight, and singing at the top of my lungs to total eclipse of the heart  and if I can't be that person in front of my secret crush then he is obviously not the one for me.