Everything I say is fascinating.

Waiting For My Real Life To Begin

The first 12 years of my life I grew up in the Texas hill country in a ranch style home on about 3 to 4 acres. At the time all I wanted to do was move into the city but as I look back on it now I realize how good I had it. I went to a small private school and it just so happened that two girls from my school lived down the road from me so we would ride bikes and go "explore" the hill country.

Behind our backyard was undeveloped land, about 150 acres of undeveloped land to be exact, so it was like our very own Bridge to Terabithia if you will. It was whatever our imagination wanted it to be. During the summers we would pack a lunch and just set out hiking. As I think about this now I don't know how our mothers ever let us do this because we could have gotten seriously hurt, or lost I mean we were eight years old. I guess those were different times back then but I digress.

The girls and I would set off for our very own adventure and we would talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up and of course at one point we all said a veterinarian. As the years went on we still went hiking in the summers and still had the same conversations but our choices started to take a different shape. We wanted to move out of Texas and our vocations changed as well, college was in the cards for all of us but after that life just seemed exciting we could do anything!

Cut to 14 years later and I wonder sometimes where that imagination went. Don't get me wrong I love my job and I'm good at it but I certainly didn't think this was the path I would end up on. I have done some amazing things like study abroad, moved to New York City on a whim, and other things that I didn't think I could accomplish. I think as my 27th birthday is rapidly approaching I am starting to wonder if this is where I am settling down. I tend to wonder if gone are the days where if I wanted to just pack up everything and move to a different country or state.  Realistically I have nothing holding me back, no special someone, no mortgage payment, no children, but at what point in your life do you say enough is enough, this is where you are?

Last night while hanging out with my closest girlfriends one of them asked if we ever looked at different jobs or professions on the internet. To my surprise for the first time in my life I said no and it scared me. Have I become a grown up and I didn't even realize it?

Just Buy Me A Pocket Protector Already

Could I be anymore of a nerd but I seriously set my DVR to record every new episode of Planet Earth.
I was seriously giddy to sit down and watch the first three episodes. I actually got upset when the phone rang and said out loud don't they know that PLANET EARTH IS ON RIGHT NOW! I know what you are thinking can the discovery channel get any better then this? WHY YES IT CAN!The show Deadliest Catch has it's season 3 premiers on April 3rd! I might pee in my pants from all the excitement! Now if you will excuse me I'm going to need to do some long division before I go to bed.

Is it just me or...

am I the only one who wants to see Rod Stewart in concert?

It is just me isn't it?

Bring On The Hate Mail

I hate Aveda.

Yes, I said it I really can't stand Aveda products and I swear I can hear your gasps over the internet and it's kind of scary. I know they are supposed to be so good for me, but for some reason my hair is immune. Not to mention the fact that I really don't want to smell like tree bark as I feel I often do when my stylist uses sap moss on my hair.

I recently just tried the damage remedy shampoo and I felt like I had I washed my hair with a fruity drink. I'm not saying my hair was sticky I mean it smelled like a martini. Mmm martinis. Wait. Focus!
The one I actually kind of like is brilliant but it doesn't smell like anything and I like to my hair to smell pretty... um whatever that means.   

I also somewhat feel like a traitor because my salon is an Aveda salon, and although they don't push the products on me, I feel this pressure that I should buy some sort of Aveda product because I'm surrounded by it. 

Let the stoning begin.

The Pressure Of A Link... Must Seem Witty And Yet Will Fail Miserably

Have you met my new best friend?

Okay so we aren't best friends but she really is super cool and Heather you are so right she is  very laid back, but I'm getting ahead of myself so let me start from the beginning. (Um... also could I look any scarier in that picture? Not to mention oily? Seriously why didn't someone hand me a clean & clear sheet?)

I knew I shouldn't have gone out the night before because I was going to have to drive to Austin but did that stop me? No! (more on that later) I woke up with a headache and proceed to stumble around my apartment trying to decide what to wear because hello she writes the advice smackdown and I didn't want her to look at me and think do you even read my column? Which she totally wouldn't have because she is that nice.

I arrived at Lori's house around 10:45 we assessed the situation and decided how to approach our wardrobe. On the one hand it's Austin which means that flip flops are okay year round and yet on the other it said it was a brunch and a brunch in texas means heels.  I chose to wear a green top with my seven jeans and black heels, and as you can see in the picture that is not what I am wearing. AT. ALL.  Lori and I arrive at the brunch and everyone is outside and we see they are super casual. Naturally  we freak out. Lori is dressed in a cute red top of mine, jeans and black heels  and after we drive by she  said I feel  way overdressed. I need to change. NOW. It was no problem for me because I had my white shirt in the car and my flip flops, but Lori lives in south Austin and it would have been a pain to drive all the way back to change and the clock was ticking. What is a girl to do?

Off to Target (because it was so close and really who doesn't love target) and an hour later we finally arrive at the brunch at 1:00! I'm always late to the party. Sigh. The first person I see is Amy and she smiles and welcomes us and offers us a drink. I think she has the southern hospitality down! I am a blubbering fool and keep telling her I'm nervous... about 3 times.  She just giggles and then proceeds to tell me I recognize you from your blog and even says the title. I almost pass out.

It was just so nice to meet the person you have been reading about for about 3 years and realize that she is nice normal funny and also incredibly thin. I just want to take the time to say thanks Amy for taking the time to come and meet us. Jennifer thanks for opening up your home to complete strangers, you rock my socks off! Seriously my feet are cold.

classic melissa

I must clarify that this story doesn't make me look like the sharpest tool in the shed but when do classic Melissa stories ever do?  In lieu of daylight savings time this past weekend I give you this little gem from my past.

I was a junior in high school and I walked into the kitchen where my father is reading the paper. He looks up from his reading and says, "Don't forget to switch your watch and clocks this evening because the time changes." I grab some juice from the fridge and then begin to think about daylight savings time and then blurt out, "Dad, how does the sun know when to speed up around the earth and stuff."
He lowers his paper and looks at me as if he has never seen me before and then says, "Did you really just ask me that?" I look at him with a what's wrong with that question expression on my face. He says, "Melissa we move our clocks it has nothing to do with the earth or the sun."  Just then does it all become clear to me and I have an ah ha moment.

Needless to say this was not one of  my fathers proudest moment of his daughter.

Tomorrow I promise to tell you about meeting Amalah and how wonderful she was!

Classic Melissa... If you are a family member or a friend that is a boy and I know you personally please don't read this post. PART 2

The time has come for my ultimate demise on the Internet. Yes, I'm going to share my secret shame #4.

Secret Shame #4

This is actually a story and not something I do on a habitual basis but I think it qualifies. Last week I was coming home from work and I had to go to the bathroom so bad. My bladder was so full I swear I could hear the water inside. I pulled into my complex ran up the stairs closed and locked the door and then then headed to the bathroom. As I start heading to the bathroom I take off my shoes and skirt along the way. (Now I am doing this in very quick manner not really even paying attention to what articles of clothing are coming off.)  I run to the toilet sit down and proceed to pee. At first i was just happy to empty my bladder but then I noticed that something didn't feel right and I looked down and I see that I FORGOT TO TAKE OFF MY UNDERWEAR! I was peeing though my underwear people! These things only happen to me.

So there you have it I hope you enjoyed that little story as I'm sure later on I will regret posting this.  I knew I should have asked for 20 comments!

Suspense

You will have to wait for the secret shame story because I must post about THIS! Yes I will be attending. How could I not? The last time I met a famous blogger it was dooce and I could barely get out the word hello. I'm such a dork. You know I think I could probably add this to my secret shame list come to think of it... actually lets not draw anymore attention to what a loser I am. I can't believe I'm going to drive an hour and half but you would too if you were that close by. Admit it!

I knew she was going to be speaking at SXSW but I didn't know she was having a meet up till my friend Lori emailed me with the subject line, so what time will you be at my house? Then came a flurry of emails of what are we going to wear and we have to look nice because she writes the advice smackdown people! Crap I might have to get a new outfit.

In all seriousness I'm very excited. I have been reading her blog forever. We are talking before Noah, we are talking circa the Judith Light Brigade and if you don't know what I am talking about you are clearly not a fan! I was trying to think how I found her blog and for the life of me I don't remember I'm just glad I did and I'm very anxious to have a conversation with her... you know if I can get words out.

Secret Shame

I realize I haven't posted in awhile and I apologize. I wish I could tell you that it was because I was on a glorious vacation in the caymans or something equally grand but alas that is not the case. An update on my father is that he is out of the hospital and doing fine. I don't really like to get into logistics but he's doing well and even started going to work so he is well on his way to recovery after giving my family a HUGE scare! (illusive enough for you?)

Now back to the business of humiliating myself on the Internet.

I was driving trying to think of something to post when this Whitney Houston song came on and I started singing like I was giving a concert. I mean belting it out to WHITNEY HOUSTON. I HAVE NOTHING, NOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTHHHIING if I don't have you. Don't lie you know when that song comes on you know you turn it up and sing too! It was during this mini concert that the idea struck me! I'm going to  tell the Internet my  secret shames and I wish it  started and ended with Whitney Houston  but that is soooo not the case.

Secret Shame #1
When I listen to classical music ,which is more often then I would like to admit, I am actually choreographing ice skating routines in my head. Seriously if there is climax in the song my thoughts are "a triple axle would go so perfect right there." Yes I'm a huge nerd lets not rub it in.

Secret Shame #2
When I'm going to sleep I get up and check to make sure my door is locked a minimum of 3 times. I will be lying in bed and then a fear will grip my stomach and I have to get up to check the door.  I think I might be borderline OCD. Lets hope not.

Secret Shame #3
I know more about pop culture then politics.

Secret Shame #4
Now this is the BIG ONE and I will only tell it if I get at least 10 comments. I'm making this number pretty low so it should be pretty easy to get this story our of me and trust me it's worth it because it is along these lines.