Everything I say is fascinating.

target

I love target, I really do. It has always been good to me, but you know what they say all good things come to an end.  Target has failed me twice in one shopping trip. I was looking for bedding did they have my bedding? NO!!! I was also looking for something else that I won't mention here but did they have that either? NO! And then to top that off I was pushing my cart and I saw the cutest tank top ever and I went to go take a look at it, I rammed right into a display knocking things over and puncturing my lung!! Ok it wasn't that bad but the pain, oh the pain. 

Also just an update on the fantasy football, umm I might have talked some trash to the person I was playing this past week ad of course I lost!! This now puts me from number 1 in my division to number 3! The horror! I need my pride back. Of course it might help if I knew what I was doing.

what do you want?

This weekend has been about nothing but relationships. My parents just had  their 38th wedding anniversary! THIRTY EIGHT YEARS! i can't even imagine it. My mom and i were talking  and she told me if something happened to my father she doesn't know if she could continue breathing. My dad bought my mom the most beautiful card it actually made tears well up in my eyes. I was going to post what it said but I thought that might be an invasion of privacy.

Well  tonight I was having a conversation with a friend who is "semi" dating this one guy but she knows its not really going anywhere. Which made us start talking about what we want in someone. I think most girls would say they want their... dare i say it? "Soul Mate" I have a hard time with this term b/c i honestly don't know if it exists. I want someone who will love me for me and all my stupid quirks and little idiosyncrasies. I want someone who will just look at me and when I'm doing something stupid like say,  dancing in the aisle at the grocery store, say to himself "look at her she is so crazy but i love her."  I started thinking to myself of all the people that i have dated and what they had in common and what was different about each one. And i started thinking if i could pull out certain characteristics from each maybe i would have the perfect man. These would be:  the looks of my first boyfriend (he looks like JFK Jr. people), the adoration of my second boyfriend (i could do no wrong... well obviously), and the humor of my third. Then i started looking at my friends and what i would pull from them. I would want him to have the heart of Brian, the determination of Bryant, the same music taste of Will, the love of reading from Aaron, and to be a great father like Darren (for whenever i have children). I know that i can't form the perfect man but it was interesting to see what I would want in one. But I also know that something that looks so good on paper can be so wrong in real life.  When i was talking to my mom she said that my father wasn't what she was looking for at all but she fell in love with him and the rest is history I guess you could say. And I guess I'm just waiting to find that...

classic melissa

 

Case 1:

A couple of weekends ago I had a girls night and we had a lot of fun just hanging out and what not.  Well during that night the knob for my radio came off! Well yesterday in my infinite wisdom I decide I will just super glue it back together… umm well I didn’t account for it gluing to the base. Now I can only turn it up a certain amount and turn it down a certain amount and I umm, can’t turn it off either. Now what am I going to do? Seriously any suggestions b/c I seriously can’t get the knob off either.

 

Here is a picture from the girls night.

Jenny and Desaree

 

 

Case 2:

 

On Tuesday my mom had to run some errands and since she can’t drive yet b/c of the surgery. So we were leaving the mall and we are in her car which is just a big Cadillac and so low to the ground. Now I’m not used to driving that b/c I drive a gas guzzling SUV so its just very tough for me to be short and to drive a grandma car. Anyway like I said we were leaving the mall I’m behind the wheel and I hit a curb and I just hear this big BOOM and I blew out her tire. I mean big time. we are talking the tire was slashed in 2 places… oops. So I have to wait for the people to come and change the tire and I’m sitting in the grass by the car. My mother is inside shopping, she tells me call me when they get here I’m going to hit the stores! So I’m sitting there and people are driving by honking. One guy even leans out the car and yells to me are you having a picnic. I resist the urge to start yelling at him… I mean we are in San Antonio.

 

The obvious solution to my car problems is I need a driver and a town car to take me to my destinations.  I will now be accepting applications. 

Case 3:

 

I have joined a fantasy football league. Yes you read that right. I somehow got roped into it, and when I say I got roped into it, I mean they just asked me, and told me it would be fun and I said okay. Now out of all sports football is the one I am least knowledgeable about. I honestly don't know what heck i am doing. Out of my players I only know 2 of them! But I am kicking butt!!! Seriously I have won 2 games and I am in the lead in my division! I don't know how this happens ... actually he might have something to do with it, but we aren't going to tell anyone that are we internet???  That’s what I thought.

 

Tales of the Drive-Thru

So since my mom has been sick, the only thing she can stomach is Luby’s. Now for those of you who don’t know what Luby’s is let me put it this way. It’s food for the elderly. It’s hospital food only slightly tastier. In the past week I have had it 4 times!! FOUR!!! I know the cashier lady by name… well not really but if I wanted to put enough effort into it I could totally know her name. So today while I was in the drive-thru for the hospital food there was this woman, 2 cars in front of me, who took FOREVER ordering her food, and meanwhile there are no less then 4 to 5 cars now in line. Now these people have kids in their cars and as I am looking in my rearview mirror I see the mothers are starting to look like they are about to kill their own children. So she finally pulls up and then the other cars follow. Well THIS WOMAN starts chatting it up with cashier and meanwhile the mothers are getting really angry now. (the only thing that saved me is I was giving a play by play of what was going down to a friend that was on the phone) anyway so then I look at THIS WOMAN and she is crying!!! TO THE CASHIER. Now the mom in the car behind THAT WOMAN, rolls out the window and starts shouting to THAT WOMAN, to get her food and get out of the way. So THE WOMAN gets her food and then inches forward but not enough to let the car behind her get to the window. I thought the mom in the other car was about going to get out of her car and start beating her.

It was like dinner and a show.

missing something so much i can't breathe

In four days it will have been two months that i  packed up and  moved from new york to texas. I miss it so  much i can't  believe it.  I  was talking with matt the other day and he can't believe it either. We miss the city that never sleeps. Here are a couple of pictures and  photos about what i miss the most:

1. walking anywhere and everywhere

2. lunches with amber, ben and spring in bryant park

3. poets walk in central park

 

4. going to museums and seeing the gates with ben in the freezing cold!

 

5. getting midday calls from Bryant to see how his melster is doing

6. coming home to see matt and tux asleep on the couch together... honestly so cute huh?

 

7. camping at stokes

8. rooftop parties at Leighanne's  place 

9. hanging out at adam’s loft

10. getting tasti d... it was 2 minutes from my aptartment people!!!!
    

11. having spa and massage days with Kendra 

12. running around the reservoir

 

13. VYNL oh my gosh how i miss vynl!

14. smallgroup 

15. tim keller

16. dancing at tavern on the green 

17. brunch with Emily on Saturday mornings or umm… afternoons                                                

     18.  walking luckie 

     19.  the buildings, the theater,  pretty much just everything...
 

 

 

oh sweet, sweet city. do you miss me like i miss you? but have no fear for i am coming back. will you welcome me with open arms when i step off the plane in november? will you? because i might just kiss the dirty sidewalk.

 

why i'm not ready to be a mother

I work with preschooler... PRESCHOOLERS PEOPLE!! 15 to be exact. well the best part of my day was getting to work right at the same time as some other little kid is being dropped off he is screaming his head off... oh the incessant screaming!! so i picked him up. BIG MISTAKE! i carried him for an hour and a half!! with snot dripping from his nose all over my shirt. i just wanted to take a shower after i got home. and this is why i don't want children.

oh and also while i was cleaning up some mess that some child had made and, i kid you not, one of the kids goes l"ook its the maid." (i could not make this up even if i tried)

Ramblings about being pissed off.

I am very angry and pissed off; it’s a compilation of things really that I’m not going to get into but I thought it would go away yesterday, but no I woke up more pissed off then ever! And the anger has traveled not only from my mind but to my body as well. And then I just start getting angry at people. Today for example, I was in CVS getting who knows what and I’m checking out and the lady in front of me is so slow and I’m impatient I’m practically sighing in her face! The woman then tells the cashier well your going to have to walk me through this transaction b/c I don’t know how to use these credit card machines. At this point I whip her around grab her by the shoulders and yell in her face “what the hell do you mean you don’t know how to use these machines they have been here for 10 years! What are you, Amish?” Well that’s what I did in my head anyway. And speaking of my head I am cursing like a sailor up there. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. And don’t even get me started about the drivers down here. That’s a whole other post in and of itself. I know now while people smoke to calm themselves down, if I didn’t find it vile and disgusting I might just light up too. So I have started to drink. It’s only coke but since I quit coke about 6 months ago I feel the need to drink again. It’s only 1:00 so I feel a little bad if I put rum in it. But once that big hand reaches 5 watch out! In conclusion I think I need some medication.

reality TV, komodo dragons and being outta control

So I must say I am addicted to reality TV.  I don’t  hang my head in shame when I admit it, I say it with my head held high! Seriously though Laguna Beach its about high schoolers but I know at least 10 people over the age of 25 that are ADDICTED people! So much drama I love it! But that’s not what I am writing about the best show on reality TV right now is cheaters. The premise of this show is how one part of the couple thinks the other is cheating and they hire personal detectives and the infamous Joey Greco to catch them in the act. Now this may seem stupid but people it is riveting. In one of the episodes the host (joey) got stabbed! STABBED.  What the hell?  I’m sorry but if I was hosting a show and I got stabbed I would not go back to work but no he was back only with more bodyguards. Oh the sweetness of it all. Now it’s filmed in Dallas I’m just waiting till I tune into an episode and I see one of my friends on, because people that would be awesome.

So since my mother is in the hospital I am in charge of caring for her plants. HA! Me with a green thumb? There are many things I can do well but taking care of plants is not one of them. I think they see me coming and just commit suicide. So yesterday I was outside watering her plants and I see a little lizard. Fine. Okay. Whatever. Then I see another and another and another. I see five lizards in a span of about 10 seconds and I just start backing away slowly and I put the hose down, because for all I know the next thing that could come out and get me is a komodo dragon. And I just don’t need that kind of drama.

Have you guys heard that 50 cent and g unit song called outta control? I was leaving super salad last night and that song came on the radio now I’m listening to it and this song is really good. I find myself really liking it, soon I’m bouncing my head to the beat b/c you know I’m gansta like that.

Labor Day and The Crazy.

What did I do for labor day you ask? I was at the hospital all day long! My mother has not had the best month of her life, first she broke her wrist visiting me in New York. Then I moved home and she got appendicitis. My own cousin told me “have you ever thought that b/c had you never moved to New York this might not have happened?” to which I very maturely stuck my tongue out at him and shook my head. (he couldn’t see me do this but I did it anyway).  So hospital today, hospital tomorrow, hospital till Friday. Have I mentioned how I HATE hospitals? Seriously they freak me out! Here is why. I hadn’t eaten yesterday so I decided to walk down to the cafeteria so see what they are offering for today’s main course at this 5 star eatery. I decide on a club sandwich. While I’m sitting peacefully eating my lunch and reading a man comes walking into the cafeteria and, I kid you not, this is what took place:

Picture me eating by myself reading a book. Enter crazy man shouting and laughing to himself. “Oh you know I can pull more women then you! Oh do you want me to show you!” pause “oh you want to bet on it?” pauses “I hear that.”  Long pause. Laughing and then starts pointing around the room at the other patrons “I could get her, I could get her and points to me and says and I know I could nail her.” I’m sorry what?!?!?! What makes me so easy? I was appalled on so many levels! A crazy man talking to an IMANGINARY friend thinks he has a chance with me! Again maybe I should reevaluate my standards.

memories

As I was watching footloose yesterday I was reminded of my prom or banquet if you will b/c I went to private school and hell no we couldn't have a “prom”. Now if you haven’t seen footloose the whole premise of this movie is that you can’t dance b/c it leads to drinking sex and drugs. I tend to think that my very private Christian school rented this movie saw it and said no to the dancing!  So we had a banquet for the seniors blah blah blah. After the banquet someone always threw a party and that is when we would get our groove on so to speak. But I certainly don’t remember us breaking out in choreographed dance moves. That would have been sweet though…