Everything I say is fascinating.

It's my party and I can vomit if I want to

Let me first start off by saying I need a vacation in a bad way. I'm so tired I'm nauseated. Is that even possible? I might have found a new illness. Take that guy with TB!

I don't even know where to start on relaying the events of this weekend; shall we start with my birthday extravaganza? Me vomiting on the way to the day spa? The two weddings I attended this weekend? The bachelorette party on Saturday night? The story of how my friend touched a urinal cake thinking it was soap?  Again I'm tired just thinking about it all... My weekend started off on Friday night at a new restraunt for dinner where 20 of my friends showed up making me feel like a rock star.  My friend Desi wanted me to wear a terria but I put my foot down... and it totally would have messed up my hair and for once I was having a pretty good hair day. I had a lovely dinner of calamari and Caesar salad except I didn't really eat because I was too busy talking. I know, imagine that! After dinner and drinks we went to a neighborhood bar to check out the scene. One drink later and we were out because it was pretty lame. We decided that we needed to go dancing. Now it must be said I love to go dancing and lets just say I think abba wrote dancing queen just for me. I had stopped drinking at the last place because I know myself and I didn't want to feel horrible the following day. Too late. At about 2 we all said goodbye and I was driven home and I went to bed... well not after I had a couple of bites of ice cream but remember I didn't have dinner and it was my birthday. Don't judge me!
The following morning I dragged myself out of bed threw on some clothes and headed out the door to the spa. My car has GPS which I must say is an awesome feature especially when you are counting the miles so you can get to the bathroom to vomit because you are feeling so sick. I'm traveling down a major street and all I can look at is the map and chanting in my head just two more miles.  I didn't make it the two miles. I had to pull over on the side of the street and I threw open the door and proceeded to throw up on the street all from the comfort of my drivers seat. Classy. Yet another Classic Melissa moment.  (I should have prefaced this story with the fact that I wasn't drunk at all the night before, no really I wasn't. I finished with that stuff a long time ago.) Anyway so there I am throwing up from inside my car and people are honking and waving. I really hope nobody I didn't see anyone I knew especially  their parents.  I finally made it to the spa and Jenny said I looked like death but by the time I left 4 hours later I was revived and ready to go. I even met with clients after that! Gosh I'm good.  In the evening I went to a friends wedding and then quickly rushed home to change for another friends personal shower/bachelorette party.  I was an hour late but really when am I ever on time?  After she opened her gifts we decided to head downtown for the party portion of the evening. It was a coed party so Jenny and I picked up my friend Dave, and all three of us were so tired from the evening before that we had to devise a plan on how to leave this party early. We came up with the brilliant idea of when its time to leave we will catch each other eye and just start waving our hands all wild like in the air.  Imagine someone being chased by bees and you will get the visual picture.  Cut to two hours later and Jenny and I are ready to go and we decide to put our plan into action except when we start waving our arms in the air Dave looks at us like we are crazy. The plan didn't work so well and we ended up looking like idiots. Finally it dawned on him what we were trying to say and he did the sign back and in 10 minutes we were in the car heading home. Although not before seeing 4 bike cops throw one guy into the bushes and yank another one out of his car. I mean who doesn’t like to see a good rumble where bike cops are involved. Now we are finally at Sunday and my friend Amanda is getting married. It was all beautiful till a storm decided to roll in and ruin the festivities. The wedding was outdoors and while we were all eating dinner the manager of the facilities walks out to say we are going to have to move indoors because of the rain that was headed our way. No sooner after he stopped talking that gale force winds came down from the heavens started blowing everything down. I mean we are talking champagne glasses being knocked over as well as the chairs, and tables. I have never seen a staff move so fast to get everything indoors... except they weren't moving quite fast enough. The wedding guest decided to help out and pretty soon we are all collapsing chairs and tables and running for shelter. Have you ever seen the movie forces of nature? How all of a sudden this hurricane ruins the wedding and everything is being swept away it was kind of like that only funnier because my skirt almost flew up over my head at least 3 times. I didn't get home on Sunday till about 12:30 at night and I passed out.  I'm still tired and it's the middle of the week. I will have to tell you guys the urinal cake story later because I'm going to bed. To be continued...

Here We Go Again...

Today I'm flying to Tulsa, Oklahoma, then I'm driving two hours to Fort Smith, Arkansas. All of this traveling to be in a wedding. The dress is a chartreuse color. I look like a skittle.

Pictures and recap to come when I return.

I'm retiring.

At the ripe old age of 26 I have decided to retire... from being a bridesmaid. Two weekends ago I was in my 10th wedding! It was a lovely affair and after the dress debacle everything really did go smoothly.

My friend Vanessa who I think of as my little sister got married on August 11, 2006. In every wedding that I have been in I have had some part of the preparations but with this wedding she had everything done in about 2 weeks. I was amazed. Of course she is very organized and is literal thinker (she is studying to be a cardiothoracic surgeon) so organizing a wedding was like making a stop at the post office for this girl. It was just another errand that had to be run while on the way to the hospital to slice someone up. Nice visual right?

The actual ceremony was I think 15 minutes long which was perfect because I was wearing ridiculously high heeled shoes and I was afraid of falling by just standing there not to mention the walking up and down the stairs to get to the aisle. I cried when she walked down the with her dad as usual.

It was during the reception that I thought to myself how many more of these am I going to be in and that is when I decided to retire. It seems that I find myself in a pattern of having single friends then they get married and then I find other single friends and then they get married and so on and so forth. Hence the 10 weddings I have been in and after my 11th in January I am hanging up my bridesmaid dress or dresses if you will. From here on out my standard reply will be I'm so honored that you asked but I'm retired and trust me after being in 11 weddings you would be too.*
It was at the bouquet toss that I really started to freak out though. I never really try to catch the bouquet (except for at my best friends wedding) so I pretty much linger in the back and watch the ladies try to attack each other when I thought "Oh my goodness what if by the time I get married there is no one left to toss the bouquet too!" I shuddered and returned to my seat to eat some more cake.

What will I do with all my new found time and MONEY now that I'm retired? I'm thinking I'm going to travel and then of course there is Disneyland.

*Apparently I will be like Barbra Streisand and will be coming out of retirement twice for my friend Jenny's wedding and Emily Ann's wedding... whenever those might be.

Keeping up with the Joneses

Last weekend I went to a wedding of epic proportions. Don't believe me? Nine hundred and fifty invites went out. Yes, nine hundred and fifty. The bride went to my high school and like I have said before I went to a private school so everyone knew everyone and we were all one big happy family right? Right. I felt like I was at a reunion of sorts. I must say that it is very weird to see your teacher who taught you  sex education (also known as rules, responsibilities, and relationships at our school) to be getting down on the dance floor to she's a brick house. I wanted to take a picture and post it on the alumni site but I didn't get to my camera fast enough.

Did I mention there was an ice sculpture of a shoe. A glass slipper to be exact.

I think one of my favorite parts of the wedding was talking in the back corner with my friend Kristin  about people we haven't seen in years. Oh shut up  you know you do it too! 

I actually was just happy to have an occasion to put on a little black dress and step out of the house . Oh and to celebrate this happy couple.

My Best Friends Wedding

Fifteen years ago I started my first day at a very private school. I was nervous to say the least but Kristin was one of the first people I met and she made me feel at home. We have grown up together and seen each other through thick and thin. well my thickness her thinness. We could not be more different. She is 6 feet tall and I am 5'3", she is has light brown hair, I have dark brown hair, she is very quiet I on the other hand can't shut up.  Although we are different as night and day we are as close as friends can be.

Her family often refers to me at the adoptive sister, and that is exactly how I think of her as my sister. Fifteen years has gone by since the first time we met, I have known her for the better part of my life and she has made me a better person. She has challenged me spiritually, mentally and even makes me want to work out! She is 6 feet tall and a size 6 so not natural. If she weren't so nice you would hate her on principal.

There are even often times when we show up wearing the same thing like this skirt that Kristin, her older sister Marie and myself wore last Wednesday.

I have been to many weddings and have been in many of them as well. No wedding has made me as cry like this one. I was honored when she asked me to be a bridesmaid along with her sisters, but while I was up there it was one big cry fest. Her older sister and I were a mess! She started walking down the aisle with her dad and I LOST IT. I mean we are talking bawling. I came so close to getting the hiccups. And then I pulled it together and just simply took in the moment. 

Oh you should also know that at the reception I caught the bouquet.

I expect a proposal any day now.

a story with many tangets so don't say i didn't warn you

So the past few days in Dallas. Yes I am never at home but if you lived with your parents you would be gone all the time as well.  Anyway the reason for this visit was of course to see my wonderful Emily but a major part of it was to attend the social event of the season. Now I am an event coordinator and I do not get impressed easily but let me tell you this event, and it was an event, was the best event i have ever been to. I am talking about the wedding of Amy Armas and Robey Canaday.  Now if you are reading this and i have been to you wedding, of course I'm not talking about you, your wedding was fabulous. Every detail was thought out and when I'm talking about every detail i mean every detail! Seriously even the toilet paper had the letter C on the them. I wanted to take a picture but i thought it would be kinda weird if i took my camera to the bathroom and started taking pictures in the stalls. Even I have my limits of what I won't do.

So without further ado the pictures

This image was everywhere

that is the dance floor where let me tell you everyone was a dancing fool. I have pictures but no I'm not posting them because I look silly.

so some of the highlights of this wedding was that it was so nice but at the same time had so many of the touches of the bride and groom like how they love rap. for instance when Amy tossed the bouquet the music was move bitch get out the way. a classic. The guys had something equally funny but i don't remember what it was.

I think what made this wedding so fun also was the people. I haven't seen some of them in about 3 years some like my friend bobby.

bobby and i took many pictures together but i decided to post this one mostly because it captures his personality so well. He is just lost sometimes, but he is honestly one of the funniest people i know. Like the time we were at the hofbrauhaus in Germany. We had all been drinking and somehow bobby got separated from the group (not surprising) and he swears that somehow he got lost in a maze and then found a castle and the people in the castle called him cab and he then he got home. the next day we found this so called maze and castle which turned out to be some bushes and just a house. what does this teach boys and girls? Beer is bad very, very bad.  I told you that there would be tangents.

So back to the story. Here is the beautiful bride.

Let me tell you  my favorite memory of Amy and I. We are in Florence and we had been out at a club along with everyone and somehow we lost our friends and of course bobby is with us which I think is how we got lost in the first place, but that is besides the point, so Amy and I are trying to get a cab to get back to our hotel. Well Bobby says i promise its not that far we can walk. Umm... no it was 6 miles. that may not sound like a lot but in heels, slightly drunk and at 3 am it was a long way! (tangent 2)

Here are some pictures I took.

I really like the above picture because it looks like Jessica and I just stripped down out of our dresses and just started drinking naked at the table, which in all honesty perhaps very well could have happened had i had 2 more seven and sevens.

All in all it was a very beautiful wedding and everyone came to celebrate in the marriage of this happy couple.