So I took a little vacation and I forgot to tell you. Sorry about that! I will tell you all about it in another post. How mysterious of me! Keeping everyone on the edge of their seats like I'm SOMEBODY!
Anyway this post is all about my friend Emily Ann, who I never actually call Emily Ann, but she signs all her comments that way so therefore when I write about her on this blog that is how I address her. It feels so formal to call her by this especially when I usually leave voicemails on her phone it goes like this, "Hey fart bag call me back!" Yes we are middle school boys.
Emily lives in New York and sees celebrities a lot but she knows the code and doesn't bother them, but once she is out of ear shot she calls me to tell me all about it because it is usually something hilarious. Just last week my phone rang, but I was on the other line and couldn't get to it and when I called her back the first words out of her mouth were I just ran into Josh Duhamel like body to body! If I can remember the story correctly she was looking for her wallet or her phone when she was walking down the street and she ran into someone and she immediately looked up and said oh i'm so sorry and looked right into the face of Josh. (I feel I can call him Josh because we are obviously so close! I mean he practically grinded with my friend on public street.) Emily said he looked really tan almost orange and that they must be filming something because that is when she noticed all the trailers everywhere. I must say that is so Emily she will be lost in her own world and then look up and be OH HEY THEY ARE FILMING A MOVIE OVER HERE! Classic Emily.
Several days after the whole Josh Duhamel incident I received a text from Emily that she had another celebrity sighting this time it was LL Cool J. It read, took cash out of an ATM next to LL Cool J today. I think this makes my whole year! I promptly asked if he had one pant leg up and one leg down. I need to know the details! She said no but he had all white on yellow sunglasses which i just find to be dangerous. I mean white? In NEW YORK CITY! I know I couldn't do it.
These stories are good but none of them compare to the end all be all celebrity sighting she had in Austin back in October (I think) in Texas of all places. She was in Austin for a work conference and staying at the four season but little did she know that she was going to see the biggest celebrity of all. Now again Emily sees celebrities all the time so I knew it had to be someone big when I heard her reaction on the phone that day. My phone starts ringing and I see it's her and immediately greet her with warmth, "What's up slut muffin!" I am met with heavy breathing and lots of illegible talk. I drop the funny stuff and I ask her what's wrong and that's when she gets out the following; OH MY GOSH YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHO I JUST SAW IN THE ELEVATOR! I SHARED SPACE WITH HIM! I BREATHED THE SAME AIR AS HIM! I MIGHT BE PREGNANT HE HAS THAT MUCH SEX APPEAL! (Now keep in mind that was all said in the high girly voice we all get when we get excited about something and our words get strung together.) Meanwhile I'm yelling WHO WHO WHO! Finally she tells me the name of Justin Timblerlake. I don't know about you but if I shared an elevator with him I don't know if I could control myself... well him and Christian Bale. They are both in my top five, but I digress.
After all the hyperventilating I made her tell me all the details point by point because really its like a personal encounter within the pages of UsWeekly. She was getting into the elevator when she heard this guy's voice say hold the elevator please! Emily, ever the kind southern bell that she is, did just that and who just happened to turn the corner Mr. sexy back himself. She merely did the head nod to him and he did the same; they rode down in silence together where he hopped into a waiting SUV and she went to faint. She saw him again when she was walking outside her meeting room and he was coming outside the workout room and this time he head nodded first which she took to mean will you have my babies and she said yes I will. It's really a very lovely story.