Sometimes I forget what I am worth. I'm worth the chase. I'm worth the effort. I'm worth getting nervous for. This weekend has been yet just another reminder in an ongoing lesson. A lesson that my mind knows but also one that my mind seems to forget... more often then I would like to admit.
It seems lately I need to remind myself that I shouldn't be trying to fit this perfect mold for someone, somehow twisting myself to seem like this perfect woman. I need to change my attitude from does he like me, to I do I like him? I am fully admitting that I do take on the does he like me attitude way more frequently then I would like. I get caught up in the how do I look, do I seem witty, oh gosh I must put my best foot forward in all hopes of winning this man's affections. While the above is all right to a certain extent I need to realize that he should be trying to win me over as well. I forget that this is sort of like a dance and truth be told I really don't want to lead. And if I don't want to I really shouldn't be forced to either.
I have seen many friends change who they are in the hopes of having a certain guy like her and I'm not going to judge because I have done it as well. All of sudden I become this sports enthusiasts, and why of course I would love to watch sports center, when really all I want to do is change the channel to TBS because they are showing Steel Magnolias for the hundredth time and I know I own the DVD but you can't just not watch it! I'm just saying.
The tile of this post comes from the song Must Get Out by Maroon 5 and I really love this song so much. I listen to it when I'm down about something (mainly guys) because I could kill myself in trying to get someone to say those words you long to hear. Worrying about everything that comes out of my mouth if its okay and really that is no way to live.
This past weekend when I was celebrating a friends birthday a secret crush of mine came and it wasn't till he left the party that I had the most fun. That is when I really became me.I joined my friends in dancing without a care in the world, participating in a mock food fight, and singing at the top of my lungs to total eclipse of the heart and if I can't be that person in front of my secret crush then he is obviously not the one for me.