Everything I say is fascinating.

Breaking The Silence

I realize it's been months since I have posted. There is no rhyme or reason to it so I won't even go into why, but I felt the need to tell this story.  

It  was last Thursday and a regular doctors appointment and everything was going fine until she felt a lump. I'm 28 years old and these things don't happen to people my age right? It was horrible and scary. She had me feel it and asked if it was new. What's weird is my very first thought went to an old 90210 episode with Donna, Kelly, and Brenda checking themselves to make sure everything was okay. I told her honestly I never give myself breast exams so I have no idea. Again I'm 28 I thought these things happen to women in there 40's.  

It wouldn't be until Monday until I could go and have a mammogram, something I didn't think I would start having until my late 30's, those 4 days were the longest of my life. You hope for the best but you keep thinking the worst. I only told my roommate, my friend Jenny and my mother because to admit to anyone else would be to real. During those four days all I could think of while I was sitting and smiling with my friends was what if next week I have to sit here and tell them I have cancer? Between my smiles I wanted to cry.  My imagination is a scary thing. 

Monday came and my appointment was at 3 and I was texting my roommate and Jenny who kept me laughing until the time came for my name to be called by the technician. I was so nervous to say the least. It was over in about 5 minutes and then I had to sit and wait for the results. They called me back and wanted to do an ultrasound; apparently not only could I feel the lump the tech could feel it but it wasn't showing up on the mammogram.  

Three techs later and they could all feel the mass, but it wasn't showing up on the ultrasound either and finally the doctor walks in, and by this time I'm losing it.  She feels the mass as well and she does the ultrasound herself and sees nothing there. She talks to me calmly and says well to be honest I don't know what it is all I can say is watch it for the next three months and see. If it were a cancerous mass it would have shown up on the mammogram or in your ultrasounds (by that time I had about 5).  So it was kind of good news yet still the unknown. 

I'm going to get a second opinion because truth be told I'm not fully convinced. I'm not a hypochondriac and when I get sick it takes me forever to get to the doctor but I'm not joking around with this.  All I can say is if two doctors, three technicians, and I can feel it, something is there and it doesn't really help when one of your doctors tells you they don't know what it is. 

I guess the reason I'm breaking my silence is... I'm 28 and they found something. So I urge you to go get checked. 

 

 

I WANT TO SCREAM!

I hate typepad right now! I had a post! It was all about TV how much I loved it. It was great.

But typepad is being hateful and I want to strangle it because it won't let me post it. 

And it keeps cutting it off!

I hate typepad right now! I tried to post! I really did! It was funny. TRUST ME!

 I will try again tomorrow. 

so that was a nice little vacation

First let me start off by saying an ENORMOUS thank you to everyone who commented on my last post about my dad. They each meant so much to me and I really truly mean that.  He is doing fine now and all is well down here in Texas.  

Now I guess I needed a little break from blogging and I didn't even know it. I have been blogging since I was a Sophomore or Junior in college and let me tell you that was a LONG time ago... about 8 years. Wow thats a a long time. I started this blog here on typepad when I was in living in New York and about to move home and i deleted my other account on Xanga. Remember Xanga? Talk about a blast from the past. I now wish I hadn't deleted it because it would be fun to go back and read those thoughts but then again it's probably for the best that I deleted it. The point of sharing all this with you is that I have been blogging a LONG time and I think I just needed to take some time away from the computer.  I actually even stopped reading some of my favorite blogs and by the time I went back to my google reader I was afraid to look at the number and see how much stuff I missed. It's so scary to try to catch up on all that reading!  I would have to take another week off just to do that! 

Anyway I want to wish everyone a very lovely Labor Day weekend and I will be back in full force coming the month of September! 

Fear

I couldn't understand why the phone was ringing so early in the morning, I mean she knew I was at the lake. I decided not to answer it, but when the one call turned into three I knew something must wrong. I got out of bed stumbled around trying to find my glasses and then tried to find my phone because it was somewhere in my bag. I finally found it and called right back not even listening to the voicemail. It was one of my worst fears. She said, "Come home. Your fathers' in the hospital." 

I didn't even know what to say everything was a blur after those seven words were uttered. My mom tried to sound calm, but I knew she was scared. They didn't know what wrong with him, but he was in a lot pain. He was sedated for now but I needed to get there and fast. She said to be careful. She didn't have to say it, but I knew in her voice what she was trying to tell me, I can't lose my husband and my only child in the same day.  I packed up my things as fast as I could I knocked on my friends door and said I had to go. She understood. She always does. 

That hour and half drive was the longest of my life. I couldn't get there fast enough, not knowing what was going on. I texted some of my best friends to let them know what was going on and ask for their prayers, but at times I could barely see the road I was crying so hard. In retrospect I should have pulled over but we don't think of these things until after the fact. I finally get to the hospital and I find my mom I ask her if they know anything she says they still don't, but the pain has subsided and he's asleep. It's his side again where his kidneys are, they have done a CAT scan like last time, but nothing is showing up. (He was in the hospital last year for this same thing, but they never found anything.)   

I finally muster up the courage to walk into the room and he's sleeping, but he wakes up and tries to crack a joke and I smile but there are tears in my eyes and he just squeezes my hand. I move to the chair and stay there for hours while he sleeps. He may not know I'm there but I do. I relieve my mother as she has been there since 2am and is exhausted and needs some sleep and food. I have a book with me from the lake that I have started so I break it out. Several hours later I finish it but if you ask me what it was about I don't think I could tell you because my mind is somewhere else. 

It's now night time and it's time to leave, my dad is aware and is feeling better, the doctors have come and want to do another CAT scan this one a little bit more thorough. My dad is in better spirits more like himself. I go home and yet I don't want to think about anything. I read blogs, watch TV, play on youtube and facebook. I do everything until I can no longer keep my eyes open. 

The morning comes and I'm back at the hospital. They have done the second CAT scan and they figure out what is causing so much pain that is making him almost pass out. It's his gallbladder. Something so simple. It almost makes me angry. Surgery is scheduled and as we wait for the doctor he starts talking to my mom and I. He tells us that if he doesn't make it he loves us and he wants us to know it. We tell him it's just a simple surgery, but even as the words come out of my mouth I just break down. I can't stop the tears. I know in my mind that its simple and its common but it my dad and when it's your family member it feels anything but common.  

The doctor comes out and tells us everything went fine and he is in recovery. He also tells us it's one of the worst gallbladders he's ever seen and if he hadn't come in it would have burst and possibly could have been fatal. He also said that it has probably been like that for many years and he is surprised no one has caught it. We just thank him and invite him over for Christmas dinner if he has no place to go. Okay I made the Christmas dinner part up but had it been closer to the time I would have extended an invite. 

He is home now and resting... well slightly.  He is itching to get back to work because that is the kind of man he is a go getter, a thoughtful man, a kind man, and a generous man. He is my father.  

Reasons Why I Could Never Be A Celebrity

1. You have to look good ALL THE TIME.  I wouldn't want to end up on the pages of stars without their makeup. 

2. The A listers shop in heels and lets be honest I wouldn't be anything less then A lister right? (I'm so modest!) Seriously they are all walking around NY in heels. After 5 minutes I would take those off and be shopping barefoot and people would be calling me Britney. 

3. I sometimes wear the same thing two days in a row. I know, I know, I know, but sometimes it's hard to think of another outfit and if I'm not seeing the same people I saw the day before what's the harm? 

4.  I like to read UsWeekly. (No judgement people.) 

5. I would sell pictures of my newborn kids and then NOT give the money to charity like Angelina and Brad.

6. Umm... this blog.

7. I have a sex tape. JUST KIDDING. 

Gone For the Weekend... Again.

So the consensus is to go back to the store which I had every intention of doing last night, but mother nature obviously doesn't want me to be happy because there was tornado warnings all around last night. I wasn't about to die and have it read on my tombstone she died trying to giver her card to the mac guy. So I go when I get back from Dallas which is where I am going for the weekend for a baby shower, yes another one. It really is amazing that I'm not on welfare. It is only because this is my good friend Sarah and she is so funny that I get tears in my eyes whenever we are together that I am going. Oh and I get to see Emily Ann from New York is going to be there which the three of us together TRIFECTA OF LAUGHTER. I also get to have brunch with Slynnro which is an added bonus!  Well I'm off so I shall see ya when I get back. 

Also who didn't see this coming! Shocker! 

Help! I Need Someone Help!

Well I really just need advice and I'm coming to you internet! So don't let me down. For the better part of the afternoon I was at the Apple store sitting at the genius bar getting my computer fixed. The genius who was assigned to me was a super cute guy with a hot scruffy beard. I don't know what it is lately but I'm totally digging beards lately. I mean just yummy. Anyway so after being there for 3 plus hours our on going banter turns flirtatious. We start talking about movies about seeing The Dark Knight about how he hasn't seen it I joke to him about how he should see Mamma Mia first.  He said hey I'm a sensitive guy I would go see that... maybe. (Which you should totally see The Dark Knight because it is amazing.) 

Now not only does he fix my computer but he also give me free software. He gives me something that would probably end up costing me about $85 dollars if I bought it in the store. I start gushing how awesome he is I start stroking his ego and we flirt some more. Now at the end of our session he gives me his card and says if you have any more problems you can come to me and I'll help you out or if you need anymore software... or anything else. I  laughed and said thanks and I was about to give him my card and then I chickened out! WHAT? I know!  So now I don't know what to do? Short of breaking my computer again, which I'm not going to do, I really am kind of stuck in between a rock and hard place. So what should I do? 

Genius Bar? Hell I'll Take Any Bar At This Point

So my computer crashed and THANK GOODNESS I had just backed up the night before! Seriously it would be a different kind of post if I hadn't backed up. I'm still scared of my computer though. I don't want to turn it on to even try to fix it. Even though my friend says I can do it on my own and truth be told I probably can, the silver macbook pro is sitting next to me just taunting me. I can hear it laughing at me. I'll probably end up taking it to the genius bar and handing it over saying fix this, I'm going to have a nice drink down at the bar. Thats what I want to do anyway and yet my pride gets in the way, so I will roll of my sleeves and try to do it myself.

Not  without going to the beach first though. Oh did I forget to tell you? I'm heading out of town. Like right now. It's our family reunion weekend and about 40 of us are headed down to have some lovely margaritas. build sandcastles with the kids, eat our weight in hotdogs, and work on our tan. It's hard life and after the morning I have had with Mr. Macbook Pro over there I really need a margarita.  See you when I get back my friends.

Classic Melissa... The Underwear Edition Part 4549837

We all know I have bit of trouble with my underwear. Do we remember the incident of 2007? Yeah that was fun! Well I have yet another one for you and it involves strangers and my doctor.

Last Monday I went to get my steroid lumbar epidural shot for my back and when I called to make the appointment the receptionist made sure to tell me that to dress warmly for the waiting room. I made sure to follow those instructions because if it's one thing that always happens to me its that I always get cold. What does one even wear for such an occasion as getting a giant shot in the back? Well LAYERS. I had on these pants from the gap in grey and white shirt with green cardigan. Now when you wear those kinds of pants one must wear a thong and if you aren't wearing a thong and are going for the full bottom coverage well we need to talk. E-mail me please because people are talking about you behind your back. 

What was I saying? Oh yes! So I knew I was going to be changing into one of those gowns where you are exposed in the back and I remember thinking to myself that I should bring another pair of underwear so I would be showing everyone the goods! Well you know how that goes I think it and then it disappears. They call my name I go to change and what is the first thing I remember OH CRAP I FORGOT MY EXTRA PAIR OF UNDERWEAR! I come out of the changing room clutching the back of my gown like the grip of death because one gust of wind and that everyone will be getting a free show courtesy of my backside. 

They lead me to my bed and close the curtain. I was the second to last patient of the day and I was being treated at an out patient hospital so privacy really wasn't high on the list.  The other patient there was a 19 year old boy who had broken his wrist and was having surgery to set all the bones in his hand. Since there was only a curtain and a bed separating us I could hear everything that was going on and he sounded like he was in dire amounts of pain. I was already nervous about my upcoming shot and this was not helping the matter at all. He starts moaning and saying things like just cut my arm off already and I want to die. It's at this point my doctor comes over to me and whispers into my ear don't worry he's not my patient. Thank goodness. It was also at this time that I heard him ask the nurse am I having an allergic reaction to the medicine? The nurse said, "Um... we haven't given you anything yet." I'm sure she was really trying hard to keep a straight face when he asked this question because I burst out laughing when I heard her answer. 

Wasn't I talking about my underwear? Thats right I was. When the nice man came to give me the drugs he said that it would put me under, but it was the kind of sedation that I could talk but I wouldn't remember what was being said and that I wouldn't remember any pain. I said fine sign me up! Cut to an hour later and I'm waking up to two nurses around me checking my vitals or playing cards or whatever i don't know what they doing, but I opened my eyes and they said "Hi welcome back!" The first words out of my mouth, "Hi did I say anything funny?" (Lets just say I know myself.)  Nurse one stammered and said, "Nooo noooo. Why?" And then quickly looked at the other nurse two who smiled and tried to turn away, but not before I saw her! I demanded to know what I said and then they confessed that I might have apologized a couple of times for my choice of underwear. Apparently I slurred to the doctor and anyone who would listen that I didn't mean to wear a thong and show my bare ass to the whole world and I meant to bring along proper underwear.  

This story wouldn't be so bad if I only had to see these people once but I had to see them again TODAY! And of course they remembered me! When one of the nurses was putting the IV in she said, "So are going to be sharing anything with us this time?" I laughed and said, "No, I had all the appropriate garments on today." After my second injection I didn't ask if I said anything funny and I really think it's for the best. Ignorance is bliss.   

Lost In Translation

Do you every think you know the lyrics to some song and then come find out it's not at all what you were thinking? This happens to me all the time. Sometimes the singer is talking so fast I end up mumbling until I get to the chorus just to butcher that up as well, just so I can shake my butt in the car seat as I'm driving. What can I say I like to be entertained 24/7. 

Last week my friend's Jenny and Kerri were emailing about music going back and forth about this and that when I made the confession that I liked the new Pussycat Dolls song When I Grow Up. (I know I know and trust me I'm embarrassed.) Jenny's first response was the one about boobs? I said huh?  She kept saying you know the one where they talk about their boobs. We ended up debating the lyrics for about 10 emails going back forth until I finally looked up them up and prevailed!   

The song says: 

When I grow up

I wanna see the world 

Drive nice cars

I wanna have groupies

Jenny and Kerri thought is said

When I grow up 

I wanna see the world 

Drive nice cars

I wanna have boobies

COMMON MISTAKE WHEN DEALING WITH PUSSYCAT DOLLS AFTER ALL! 

But this also leads me to my own mistakes when I listen to songs and I get the words wrong and like I said this happens all the time! Was it just me or did anybody else get Fergie's song Glamorous wrong? I could have sworn it said sippin' reminscing on days when I had a mustache.   Um... It's when I had a mustang. Oops. I still like to sing my original version because it makes me laugh to think of Fergie with a mustache. 

A couple of years ago I was in the car with a bunch of girl friends and this song came on that was pretty popular at the time because I knew all the words or so I thought. We were singing in the car and in the chorus I thought the singer said we don't like HIV get us down and I made a remark about how socially irresponsible that was and I couldn't believe they put that on the radio! My friend Alex from the back seat shouts to me its we won't let AGE get us down. Oops. I think this was a Chris Brown song and I wanted to get the lyrics just right, but I can't find it. 

There is also that classic scene in 27 dresses where they are drinking a the bar singing one of Elton Johns most memorable song's Benny and Jets. He sings she's got electric boobs and she starts laughing because she knows its the wrong words.  I totally thought that is what Elton had sang there for YEARS! Well come to find out it's electric boots, and you know the line right after that is, a mohair suit! You learn something new everyday! 

Are there songs that you sing along to that you know you are singing the wrong words to? Don't be ashamed to let it all out. Think of it like karaoke!